Tuesday, March 20, 2012

10 Reasons Why I'll NEVER Give Up Technology

     There seems to be this new trend going around: people wanting to give up their technology. It has been deemed "morally wrong" to check Facebook constantly and have text message relationships. We are plugged in so frequently that some people are wanting to step back. Not me. I like Facebook stalking and tweeting about what I'm eating for lunch. Here are ten reasons why my technology is staying right where it is:

1. I don't want to have to actually ask my high school friends what they've been up to. It's much easier to read their latest status updates and laugh secretly at their pictures.
2. It cuts my conversations with my mom down by like 10 minutes. Instead of her asking me what I did last week, we can spend our conversations talking about the dogs and how nice the weather will be. Much easier.
3. When you brag about meeting a celebrity, you sound annoying. If you just post a picture online and say nothing, you're suave and uber cool. People can brood in privacy.
4. More logically, as social media agent at Washington Square News, I wouldn't have a job without technology.
5. It would take much more effort to walk across the hall and ask my suite-mate if she wants to go to lunch. It's more logical to send her a text message.
6. You never need to look out the window when you're getting dressed. I follow @NYCWeather instead.
7. Where else am I going to watch reels of Cartman's funniest one-liners? Comedy Central doesn't air that shit!
8. For whatever reason, walking to class listening to "Call Me Maybe" just puts you in a better mood than listening to a gaggle of hobos cat-call you.
9. College just likes to think it's a really good idea to make all of its meetings and interviews at the same time as Dance Moms. If I can't watch it online, how am I supposed to know who's at the top of the pyramid?
10. Sometimes, what I think is just really funny. If I can't Tweet about it, how will everyone ever know how hilarious my inner-monologue really is?

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