Work-Wear Matters

            I usually consider leggings and a sweater a perfectly acceptable outfit. In fact, you’d have a good chance of finding me out on a Friday night in just that. Hey, no judgment, right? But not at work. I feel like work is another dimension of higher expectations, where you never know who you’re going to meet or where you’ll end up by the end of the day. Sure, you could say the same thing about going out with friends on the weekend, but if I meet someone special then, they’ll have to see me in my casual glory sooner or later, right? Work companions won’t.

            But at my new job, I was shocked by the low-key dress code in the office; jeans, Ugg boots, the works. If that’s your thing, good for you. But I just couldn’t. Sure, maybe I looked a little ridiculous crouching by the mail cabinet rummaging for a magazine in my skirt and heels, but I’m dressing for the job I want, not the job I have. Is it crazy to want to dress up, even if that makes you the odd one out?

            Science says no. In a recent study by Psychology Today, 300 participants were exposed to two men, one dressed in an expensive, tailored suit, the other in a similar, but lower-quality suit. After a 3-second exposure to the men from the neck down, participants spoke overwhelmingly more favorable about the man in the nicer outfit. They thought him more confident, successful, and guessed that he made more money. All because of his outfit. Clothing, whether we like it our not, has become an indication of our economic and social standing.

            But more than that, clothes not only dictate how others view us, but can also change how we view ourselves. Northwestern University did a study on something called “enclothed cognition,” meaning how what one wears alters their behavior. In the study, they gave each participant a white lab coat. To some, they said it was a doctor’s coat. To others, it was a painter’s smock. Turns out the people who thought they were wearing a doctor’s coat acted more careful and attentive than those who thought they had a painter’s smock. In an article for Forbes.com, Dr. Jennifer Baumgartner said, “When you dress in a certain way, it helps shift your internal self.” Just look at makeovers or actors wearing costumes, she says. What you wear can change you internally.

            So when it comes to work, I’ll keep trudging through the snow in my heeled boots and skirt because, you know what? It’s worth it. Maybe it won’t actually make me more professional or cause me to work harder, but you never know. Maybe it will.  

When I Realize I'm Almost, like, an Adult

To remind me of my youth...
(yup, that's me)

Ever done something and then thought to yourself, “Oh my God, I’m old.” I have. All the time. Sometimes I worry I’m actually a middle-aged woman caught in the body of a 20-year-old. My days of childish care-free worry are over and true adulthood is looming on the horizon. My adult ah-ha moments keep jumping out at me. Here are times I realized adulthood is closer than I thought:

When friends ask me to meet them at 10pm, I laugh. Sorry, man. I’m not leaving my house after the sun goes down. Preferably, I’d also like to return to my house before said sun goes down too, but that’s a bit more flexible.

I get to use the phrase “at work today…” and not be referring to retail or babysitting. Now I finally have something more interesting to say than, “At work today, the youngest one colored me a picture.”

Facebook annoys me. OMG I’m SO glad that you and your boyfriend of two weeks are so MADLY in love and you want to post Pic Stiches about it ALL THE TIME and talk about how AMAZING he is (even though last weekend you were telling me he gets too drunk and never actually calls you back). PLEASE post more horribly romantic pictures so I can feel terrible about my life and hate you THAT much more.

I no longer consider Thursday the weekend. Not long ago I used to fall into the category of the unemployed college student that had no responsibilities Friday morning except making waffles. And it was grand. But when you have to be out the door by 8:30 on that Friday morning, Thursday becomes another early bedtime for me.  

Even the idea of a club makes me claustrophobic. Sweaty, half-clothed people trying to grind up on me and make conversation even though we both know we can’t hear a thing in there? Yeah, no thanks.

I’ve actually used the phrase “when I was a kid…” more than once. But let’s be real, kids of the 90’s had N’Sync, the Bop-It, and bubble gum in the shape of Band-Aids. How could you not want to talk about it all the time?

5 Things I'd Rather Do Than Go Outside

Credit: www.acuteday.com

I don’t really do cold. My father used to laugh at me when I told him I wanted to get away from frigid Colorado by moving to New York City. Guess what? It’s just as cold AND I actually have to leave my warm house and walk everywhere. Maybe you’re a fan of Jack Frost, love heading out to the ski slopes or just bundling up in your cute sweater. Good for you. But that’s not me. So when the weekend weather drives me back under my covers and makes me about as excited to go outside as I would be to chew off my own arm, I’ve got to get creative with my time.

      1.    Hulu Catch-up Marathon: Let’s face it; when you have a life, you don’t get to stay up to date on your favorite TV shows. Take the morning while you try to convince yourself that clothes other than your pajamas might be worth a try to catch up on all the shows you’ve missed.

      2.    Actually organize your stuff: I’ll be the first to admit that I’m not always as clean as I’d like to be. I think the floor is a perfectly good storage location. But while you’re inside all day, tackle a “problem area” in your home and get crafty. Use an old glass to hold your toothbrush and toothpaste, a magazine holder for your blow-dryer and hairbrush; whatever you need to do to put things in a place you’ll actually find them later.

      3.    Cook for the week: If you’ve got a lifestyle that permits you to spend an hour every night making some sort of gourmet meal even Pinterest would envy, I’m jealous of you. But most of us don’t. And if you’re like me, when you come home from a long day of class or work, the last thing you want to do is slave away in front of the stove for an hour. You want food. Now. So cook some chili you can freeze in Tupperware or bake chicken that you can cut into strips for sandwiches. When you’ve got extra time, make the meals you wish you had time to during the week.

      4.    Start a project: Maybe you’re a “vision boarder” or a scrap-booker. Me? I’m a knitter. Chances are good that you haven’t had a day to work on any of that recently (I’ve been knitting the same blanket since freshman year). Just sit down and do it. Pick a project for the day and do something that makes you happy (bonus points if you can do it AND have your Hulu Catch-up Marathon).

      5.    Don’t do anything: If going outside requires the same gear as adventuring in the Arctic tundra, I’d literally rather do absolutely nothing than hike through the snow. But let’s be honest; how many days do you have to sit around and just do nothing? Not many. And as a student about to enter the workforce, these days will soon be few and far between for me. When you have a day where nothing calls you out of the house, relish in it.

Is Social Media Making Us Poor?

I like a good “selfie” as much as the next person. I, along with 41 percent of millennials, regularly post pictures of myself on social media. If I spend 30 minutes on my makeup, then go to dinner with my family, my parents sure don’t care. I've got to show the social media friends who will give some respect and maybe even a “like.”

            

In case you’ve been living under a rock for the past decade, millennials are on the forefront of the social media trends. You could call us the connoisseurs of social media. On average, millennial women follow 22 brands on social media and 79 percent of women between the ages of 18 and 65 feel that feedback on their social content is important to them. The social media savvy like to post about our new jobs (42 percent of women updated a new job status within a week), our failed relationships (45 percent of women updated their new relationship status within a week), and even our food (35 percent of millennials regularly post pictures of food they made). Social media is a new way for what has been called the “me generation” to talk, post, and chat about ourselves.

But is this tendency towards social media hurting our ability to progress in the workforce? The Conference Board of Canada recently released a study saying that due to an “unconscious bias,” young women are less likely to be given better job opportunities. The Board says that this bias manifests itself in the form of “underestimating young women as being too young, or not ready, to assume increasingly more challenging leadership roles.” Despite the fact that 74 percent of millennial women in the workplace were identified as “high performers” compared to 66 percent of millennial men, we’re still not getting the promotions. Why?

            

Though the study doesn’t explore the source of this bias, I have to ask myself, is it because of our attachment to social media that older generations see younger women as immature and unreliable? Not only do millennials tend to use social media more often than older generations, but women also rely on it more than men. 71 percent of women use social networking sites compared to 62 percent of men. Plus, while men dominate sites like Google+, LinkedIn, and YouTube, women make up the majority of users for Twitter, Facebook and Pinterest. And while the average user stays on LinkedIn for 17 minutes, users, on average, spend 89 minutes on Tumblr and Pinterest and 405 minutes on Facebook. So it would seem that women tend to spend more time on sites that are less related to their actual jobs.      

Is it possible that this “unconscious bias” against young women is due to our dependence on the same sites where Kim Kardashian posts pictures of her butt and Grumpy Cat found his 15 minutes of fame? Women, like me, are posting selfies, Instagram-ming our lunches, and tweeting our daily experiences like they’re breaking news. Does this make us look less responsible and less ready for promotion in the workplace than our male counterparts? Though there’s no definitive evidence to point one way or the other, I would argue yes. Even if your boss doesn’t see your drunken weekend tweets, he sees women all over the world, especially young women, revealing their every thought to the worldwide web. Unfortunately, there’s a stereotype and, even more unfortunately, it’s at least partly true. So all of this research begs the question: is social media making us millennial women poor?

The Write Way To Say Thank You

credit: www.southernliving.com

            Remember those thank you notes back from your sixth birthday party? The ones that were already printed, with some cute cartoon character or other. All you had to do was fill in the name of your friend and what they got you. So easy. But you made sure to do it every year.

            Just because you’re 20-something now doesn’t mean you get to skip out on the thank you cards. Maybe the cartoon, fill-in-the-blanks version isn’t quite appropriate anymore, but a hand-written note can go a long way, especially this holiday season.  As Southern Living puts it, “the art of writing an ‘old-school’ note is being lost,” but if you go against the flow and send one anyway, it’ll make a huge difference.

            Whether it’s for a relative, a co-worker, or even a friend, a hand-written note goes a long way, especially when it’s for someone you want to impress. Sending a nice letter not only keeps you in their mind, but it also shows that you took the time to show them appreciation and that you are cognoscente of at least a mild form of etiquette (and I’m not ashamed to admit most of us millennials aren’t). Leslie Harpold of The Morning News wrote in her article “How to Write a Thank-You Note” that though someone from your grandmother’s generation might not say anything to you, “she and her friends are probably at this very moment sighing over how young people today just don’t have manners.” Thank-you cards were and still are a thing, and not sending them can come across as rude. Sure, email or text are so easy, but how often do you skim emails and texts and just don’t give a sh*t? I do it all the time! But how often do I get a card? Never. And I love getting mail. So when someone takes the time to actually put something in the mail, and spends the $3 it’ll cost to buy a card and a stamp, it means a lot.

            When you’re writing a thank you note, according to Southern Living (because who knows manners better than a southerner?), invest in some nice stationary. You'll use it more than once so pick something you can use for a variety of occasions. Personalize your letter. “If you’re going to see the person in the future, refer to the event and say you’re looking forward to it,” Jennifer Beeler of Southern Living said in her article “How To Write a Charming Thank You Note.” Don’t just re-write the same cut and dry thing every time, think of something that applies to them. And be sincere! Don’t write something like, “oh my god this was the cutest pair of Christmas socks ever” if you are actually using them to clean your stove. Instead, say something like “they were so thoughtful and I will get great use out of them.” It’s really not that hard, and it doesn’t take that long. This holiday season, don’t forget to not only say thank you, but to put it in words.

            

Ode to the Dinner Conversation

            Yes, I see you there, friend of mine. Your cell phone is not your fourth utensil, so why are you sitting it right there on the corner of your napkin?  Are you expecting an incredibly important call in the next 30 minutes while we’re out to lunch? Is it a life or death situation, or are you just checking every five minutes to see who liked your latest Instagram post?

            Put your phone away.

            I see it nearly every time I’m out to eat, even once or twice on dates! Young adults literally can’t be separated from their phones, even for the 30 minutes it’ll take them to sit and eat. Maybe I was the only one reprimanded by my parents for texting at the dinner table. Maybe your parents were hip, cool parents who said, “By all means, text away! I didn’t want to hear about your day anyway.” But that’s not me. And yes, I do mind if you’re texting while I’m trying to talk to you.

            It’s just rude. Call me crazy, call me old-fashioned, call me a grandma, whatever. It’s rude. If I wanted to eat by myself while you’re off on your own texting about something that’s apparently more important than my company, I would have stayed at home. Probably would have cost less anyway. I don’t eat out at restaurants or spend $10 on a sandwich because the food is really that much better. I do it for the experience. I do it so I can sit down and talk with whoever I’m at a meal with. But if she’s on her phone the whole time, how am I supposed to talk to her?

Credit: www.socaltech.com

            Ok, yes, I’m being a bit rant-y. But that’s just how I was raised. You don’t text at dinner. In fact, you don’t bring your phone to the table. That was a sacred time to sit, to talk, the only real time I got with my family where everyone was truly attentive to each other. And now, millennials are connected to their phones in a way I just can’t comprehend. Did you know that 64% of young adults ages 18-29 have admitted to falling asleep with their phones in their bed? Researchers have compared young adults’ addiction to cell phones to alcoholism and substance abuse.

            I like my cell phone as much as the next person. It’s a great way to distract myself on the bus ride home or to schedule the next day’s meeting. But when you’re out at a meal? Just leave it in your bag. I promise, you’re probably not going to miss anything life-changing if you just put it away for one meal. Just talk to the person you’re with. That’s why you went out in the first place, isn’t it?