Friday, January 10, 2014

When I Realize I'm Almost, like, an Adult

To remind me of my youth...
(yup, that's me)
Ever done something and then thought to yourself, “Oh my God, I’m old.” I have. All the time. Sometimes I worry I’m actually a middle-aged woman caught in the body of a 20-year-old. My days of childish care-free worry are over and true adulthood is looming on the horizon. My adult ah-ha moments keep jumping out at me. Here are times I realized adulthood is closer than I thought:

When friends ask me to meet them at 10pm, I laugh. Sorry, man. I’m not leaving my house after the sun goes down. Preferably, I’d also like to return to my house before said sun goes down too, but that’s a bit more flexible.

I get to use the phrase “at work today…” and not be referring to retail or babysitting. Now I finally have something more interesting to say than, “At work today, the youngest one colored me a picture.”

Facebook annoys me. OMG I’m SO glad that you and your boyfriend of two weeks are so MADLY in love and you want to post Pic Stiches about it ALL THE TIME and talk about how AMAZING he is (even though last weekend you were telling me he gets too drunk and never actually calls you back). PLEASE post more horribly romantic pictures so I can feel terrible about my life and hate you THAT much more.

I no longer consider Thursday the weekend. Not long ago I used to fall into the category of the unemployed college student that had no responsibilities Friday morning except making waffles. And it was grand. But when you have to be out the door by 8:30 on that Friday morning, Thursday becomes another early bedtime for me.  

Even the idea of a club makes me claustrophobic. Sweaty, half-clothed people trying to grind up on me and make conversation even though we both know we can’t hear a thing in there? Yeah, no thanks.

I’ve actually used the phrase “when I was a kid…” more than once. But let’s be real, kids of the 90’s had N’Sync, the Bop-It, and bubble gum in the shape of Band-Aids. How could you not want to talk about it all the time?

No comments:

Post a Comment