F*** Off.

     I pride myself on being the kind of person that gets along with a variety of people. But even for me, there are some days when I really just want to slap someone so hard, their grandchildren have 5-stars. But unfortunately, since I have some semblance of dignity, I refrain. But all day, my blood boils just thinking about them. How do you rid that devil from your mind? Write them a letter.
     I'll take this opportunity to clarify that writing a letter and sending a letter are two different things. Write said person a letter telling them exactly what you think. Use all those words that would make your mother wash your mouth out with soap. Tell them about those nightmares you've had about having to sit next to them on a plane or the time that you actually screamed out loud just thinking about the shit they said to you. Then tear it up and throw it away. Releasing all of these inner thoughts allows the stress this person causes to ease without actually hurting any feelings. Just make sure that the letter is discretely disposed of. You don't want to be the next "Dramatic Reading of a Break-up Letter."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MBHOL1PcPR8

Eat Your Greens!

   
     Are finals freaking you out? If you said no, you're in denial. But when hours of studying and piles of flashcards feel like too much, don't drown your sorrows in the nearest Crumbs cupcake. Instead, make a salad. Maybe spinach and broccoli aren't what you're craving during a 2 a.m. cram session, but it will actually make your studying more efficient. The phytochemicals found in dark greens have been proven to help brain function, which will make information stick. The vegetables are also more efficiently digested than those carb-loaded snacks, requiring less blood for digestion and allowing more to your brain, helping keep you alert and awake. Maybe salad doesn't sound as tantalizing as an entire pack of double-stuffed Oreos, but it'll taste that much better when you see that A.

Running Rampant

 
     I don't know how many of you have ever run a long-distance race. No judgement if you haven't. When I ask people if they've ever run a half marathon, the most common answer is somewhere between a guffah and a pitiful whimper at the thought. I get it. Running far enough to make you either throw up or die isn't for everyone. But for me, it's the best way to relax, to take some time to yourself and just be.
     For those of you who haven't run a long distance race, it goes something like this: your brain and body somehow fit a lifetime of emotions and feelings into a span of around 2 hours. How do I mean? Here's a brief play-by-play of my half marathon inner-dialogue that happened this Sunday:

Starting Line: "Alright, Nicole. You can do this. This is what you've been training for."

Gun goes off: "Holy crap, I'm going to puke. Did I put N*ggas in Paris on this playlist? I need my pump-up jam STAT."

Mile 3: "Man, I'm feeling good. This isn't so bad. Only 10 more miles to go."

Mile 3.1: "Oh my god, there's 10 miles to go. I'm hyperventilating! It's freakin' hot out here! God save me!"

Mile 4: "Holy crap, I'm like a frickin SuperWoman. My legs are like jelly. This is so sweet!"

Mile 8:"Hey! I just met you, and this is crazy, but here's my number, so call me maybe."

Mile 9: "Where the f*** did this hill come from? This hill definitely wasn't here on the first loop. Oh my god, I'm losing it. This is the end! Goodbye cruel world!"

Mile 11: "And all the other boys try and chase me, but here's my number, so call me maybe."

Mile 12: "Was everyone else always going this fast? What's the hurry, woman in the purple top? The finish line ain't going anywhere! Geeze, some people..."

Mile 13: "This is it, there's the finish line! I made it! I did it! I can't believe it!"

Finish Line: "This is amazing! I feel fantastic, I feel spectacular, I feel...nauseous. Oh great, NOW N*ggas in Paris plays."

Celebrate the Little Victories

     I don’t know about you, but I’m not one of those people who celebrate epic victories on a regular basis. I’m not a winner of gold medals or Academy Awards. My college essays aren’t earning me blue ribbons and my work at the newspaper isn’t gaining national recognition. But that doesn’t mean that we, as people, don’t crave at least a little special attention. We want to know that we’re important, that our hard work is going to pay off, that we have the ability to win at something.

     That’s why this weekend, at my school’s annual “Dorm Wars” (as I like to call them), I held nothing back. I wore purple war paint, plastered enough glitter in my hair that a shower still can’t get rid of it, and screamed so loud my peers questioned if it was actually possible to tear a vocal cord. My throat this morning seemed to tell me that yes, it felt pretty possible. At the end of the day, complete with tug-of-war, relays, and trivia, my dorm took home the victory. We screamed, chanted, hugged, and God only knows what. We ran around the gym like children, yelling no words in particular, seemingly unable to vocalize the happiness at this victory.

     What did we win? Just a trophy, one that sits in some back room that no one ever walks through. A quiet victory was won, one most people will never hear about. But for those few hours, we were victors. And you know what? It felt great.

...

     The below conversation actually happened as is demonstrated with words and pictures. We thus discovered that when the conversation gets boring, stop talking and start texting. Let me just make sure you're aware this conversation occurred while we were all sitting three feet away from each other in the same room. Enjoy.
Sami: Guys! I'm going to send you a picture and you have to guess what word I'm thinking of.

Nicole: Sami, no one could guess that word.
CC: Arr! Like a pirate.
So I sent:

(Good one, Sami)

And CC sent:

(What the f***?)

Trying to change the subject, Sami sent:

Which thus reminded all of us how often Sami likes to fluff her hair and check herself out in the mirror, so they sent:

But I decided pictures weren't enough, so I sent:

Then I thought about how funny I was, so I sent this:

But Sami didn't get that video, so she sent this:

So I sent:

(Don't know, don't care)

CC: It looks like...you're smelling a llama.

Therefore, I sent:

(I AM NOT SMELLING A LLAMA!)

Then, we had a lovely laugh about what had just happened. But, just to make sure that everyone would experience our conversation to epic proportions, I sent this:

10 Reasons Why I'll NEVER Give Up Technology

   
     There seems to be this new trend going around: people wanting to give up their technology. It has been deemed "morally wrong" to check Facebook constantly and have text message relationships. We are plugged in so frequently that some people are wanting to step back. Not me. I like Facebook stalking and tweeting about what I'm eating for lunch. Here are ten reasons why my technology is staying right where it is:

1. I don't want to have to actually ask my high school friends what they've been up to. It's much easier to read their latest status updates and laugh secretly at their pictures.
2. It cuts my conversations with my mom down by like 10 minutes. Instead of her asking me what I did last week, we can spend our conversations talking about the dogs and how nice the weather will be. Much easier.
3. When you brag about meeting a celebrity, you sound annoying. If you just post a picture online and say nothing, you're suave and uber cool. People can brood in privacy.
4. More logically, as social media agent at Washington Square News, I wouldn't have a job without technology.
5. It would take much more effort to walk across the hall and ask my suite-mate if she wants to go to lunch. It's more logical to send her a text message.
6. You never need to look out the window when you're getting dressed. I follow @NYCWeather instead.
7. Where else am I going to watch reels of Cartman's funniest one-liners? Comedy Central doesn't air that shit!
8. For whatever reason, walking to class listening to "Call Me Maybe" just puts you in a better mood than listening to a gaggle of hobos cat-call you.
9. College just likes to think it's a really good idea to make all of its meetings and interviews at the same time as Dance Moms. If I can't watch it online, how am I supposed to know who's at the top of the pyramid?
10. Sometimes, what I think is just really funny. If I can't Tweet about it, how will everyone ever know how hilarious my inner-monologue really is?

Half Marathon

     I'm running a half-marathon in April. Yeah, I'm kind of a big deal. The problem is my that my training should have begun last week...but it hasn't. While I'm not ashamed to admit a good portion of this lack of training has to do with my poor self-motivation, most of it has to do with the cough from hell that I'm experiencing. Running is usually the best de-stresser for me: taking time to myself to enjoy the warm whether and just run. But now, running has turned into my own personal death wish. Every run over 5 feet ends with an uncontrollable coughing fit. But have no fear! With Emergen-C, water, and a hell of a lot of will-power, my training will continue! Sooner or later...